So make up sex is the best!! Okay so whats been going on? I told keithen and Travis that I will not be in the middle of this. I don't want to hear bitching from one other about the other. Its time for them to work it out between them. For years I have fixed them two. Or should I say I thought I fixed them. April called me today and asked if the wedding is on again. I told her that I am taking baby steps. Damn before he left I thought he would never leave. Now I am asking him everyday if he is coming home in the morning. It's so scary sometimes. I am thinking I am going to give it a couple of weeks and then ask if we are still getting married or not. By then I will know if we can all live in the house together also. So far Travis and Keithen are talking but not much. So I guess time will tell. I am not in a hurry either to get that answer. 100% of me is not ready for it right now either. So how did everything go down? Friday I called into work. I was so tired and emotionally drained. I called him and told him that I was home for the day so if he didn't want to see me not to come home but if he wanted to see me to come home. He did come home but I slept all morning. I got up and watched TV. He woke up later and he cuddled up to me. His doing and not mine. I was happy for that. I needed him to touch me. He told me that he was going to be home the next morning. I left and took the kids to all their practices. When I came home he was still there. He told me that his father needs him to help put floors in so he wouldn't be there in the morning. He also told me to go out to his parents house and spend some time with him. Later when he was at work I called him and asked if I could bring out supper at midnight. All the way to his work I got butterflies in my stomach. Shit I haven't gotten those in forever. We sat in my car for 45 minutes talking about random stuff. I came home and went to bed. In the morning I heard him come in. I was surprised that he came home. We laid around for awhile. He went to his parents house later and I went out there also. I felt like I was following him around like a puppy. I told him that one thing that bothered me the most was that I didn't know the last time we actually kissed. I will always remember that now. So later Saturday night we went to the bar with his brother. He didn't drink much like usual but I drank like a fish. When we got back to his parents house we went to bed. Sunday I decided to not follow him around. Well it took awhile but he found me and spent time with me. Every time we are next to each other just cuddling I cry. I always say sorry and he just tells me not to worry about it. I got so much on my mind. I worry and I want to know now whats going on. I am getting better at that. I think that we have lost each other a long time ago. I got to the point that I didn't care if I saw him. I do love him a lot. Time will tell!!