The kids and I have moved into our new apartment. I love it here. Things are up and down or should I say my mood is up and down. This last weekend was the honeymoon phase. Don't get me wrong I knew it was coming. He came over and took emily overnight and on sunday he took the kids swimming. We spent sometime together. He held my hand and gave me a backrub. He texted me a lot last weekend being nice. Well this morning I saw that he was still at home. When I didn't hear one word from him yesterday I knew that he went out last night. He texted me about getting permits and I called him and asked if he went out last night. He said yes. I told him that I did not want anything to do with him except a friend level with him because he is acting like usual. Going out friday night and last night and just made me feel like you only want to be there when you are free. I told him that once I felt a little pain from it then I will shut down completely. So I told him that everything has to stop. I needed to move on with my life. It hurt like hell for a couple of minutes but it didn't hurt as bad as the first time. I know I am getting better. I am really proud of myself. I know it will take a long time to get on but I know that I will be just fine.
I am stronger now then I was yesterday and I am a hell lot stronger than I was 3 weeks again. I am getting use to sleeping by myself actually kindof like it. The stress level has gone down a little. Okay I gotta go to walmart to buy something for my dryer. Till next time!!